‘The Boy Who Cried Wolf’ from The Muppets

‘The Boy Who Cried Wolf’ from The Muppets

I found this valuable piece of those amiable felt puppets widely know as The Muppets, and I decided to post a transcription with the dialogs of the whole play. It is an episode of ten minutes more or less, but I’ve been laughing all morning while writing the text. Ahhhahahhahaaa.

The Boy Who Cried ‘Wolf’

Rizzo: – ooh! ooh! Once upon a time… Once upon a time, there was a young shepherd,                   who in addition to missing his key…

Gonzo: – Rizzo!

Rizzo: – … sometimes had a tendency to over-react…

Sheep one: – (earthquake).

Gonzo: – What… what was that?

Sheep one: – It felt like…

Sheep two: – An earthquake.

Sheep one: – An earthquake.

Sheep pack: – An earthquake.

Gonzo: – An earthquake? EARTHQUAKE! EARTHQUAKE! EARTHQUAKE!                EARTHQUAKE!

Rabbit: – EARTHQUAKE! EARTHQUAKE! EARTHQUAKE!

Blacksmith: – What? EARTHQUAKE!

Everyone: – EARTHQUAKE!

Woman: – We should call the mayor!

Gonzo: – MAYOR! MAYOR! MAYOR!MAYOR! MAYOR!

Mayor: – What’s going on here?

Woman: – Mister mayor, what you are going to do about all these earthquakes?

Rabbit: – Yeah, of course it isn’t safe!

Blacksmith: – You ought to do something? We pay our taxes!

Mayor: – Wait a minute, I didn’t feel any earthquake, did any of you?

Everyone: – No.

Mayor: – Well then, how did all this earthquake nonsense get started?

Gonzo: – What?

Mayor: – I should have known it just was you shepherd, you simply must stop over-reacting,               if something bad were to happen nobody would listen to you.

Gonzo: – I’m sorry mister mayor, it will never happen again. I promise.

Mayor: – Ok.

Gonzo: – Right, thank you, I’m sorry. So uh… anybody want to have lunch?

Rizzo: – But then the very next day while washing his socks…

Gonzo: – I’ll see now, just have to hang these up to dry in some place so, all right, might be                good right there. See,look at the sun there.

Sheep one: – (unidentifiable noise).

Gonzo: – I felt like water.

Sheep two: – Water.

Gonzo: – You know, I felt like water, I think water hit me.

Sheep two: – That could be a…

Sheep three: – The tidal wave!

Sheep two: – … a tidal wave!

Gonzo: – What? A tidal wave? TIDAL WAVE! A TIDAL WAVE! TIDAL WAVE! TIDAL          WAVE!

Everyone: – Tidal wave! Mayor!

Mayor: – I’m waiting.

Woman: – Mister mayor, what (are) you gonna do about all these tidal waves, uh?

Rabbit: – Of course it isn’t safe!

Blacksmith: – You ought to do something? We pay our taxes!

Mayor: – A tidal wave? We don’t get tidal waves here! The nearest ocean is thousands of                      miles away!

Gonzo: – Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

Mayor: – I should have known, come on everybody let’s go home.

Gonzo: – But on the way, if it happened a tidal wave you’d wanna thank me. You know?                      if there had been.

Rizzo: – Now one day not after too long there after, the shepherd was ‘tending his sheep…

Gonzo: – Gotta need threes?

Sheep one: – Go fish!

Wolf: – Got room for one more?

Gonzo: – No, sorry, maybe next hand. Wait a minute you’re a wolf, what are you doing                       here?

Sheep one: – (whisper something inaudible to the shepherd’s ear).

Gonzo: – You’re kidding!

Sheep one: – Nooo.

Gonzo: – You’re here to eat my sheep? WOLF! WOLF! WOLF!

Wolf: – Come on, you think calling ‘wolf’ is going to do any good?

Gonzo: – WOLF! That was my skippable affaire with you, about a million mean towns are                  under the way to get you!

Wolf: – Who you kidding! I’ve been watching you, you’ve sounded so many false alarms                    nobody for a hundred miles would believe you!

Gonzo: – Really?

Wolf: – Yep, no one would come, if you cried wolf and then you turn blue.

Gonzo: – But, I only ain’t blue!

Wolf: – Oh, true. Well then, tell you what I’m going (to) do, I will give you twenty-four                     hours to get some help.

Gonzo: – Why are you going to give me twenty-four hours?

Wolf: – I thought the story could use an increase in dramatic tension right now.

Gonzo: – Oh, thank you very much. WOLF! WOLF! WOLF! WOLF! WOLF! WOLF! WOLF!               WOLF! WOLF! WOLF! Listen everybody, I really mean it this time: wolf, it’s a real               wolf! Long mouth, big teeth, bad breath and walks. Mayor, mayor, you gotta                          believe me…

Mayor: – I’m sorry shepherd, but you cried wolf too many times, you’ve betrayed our trust,                we simply cannot believe you.

Gonzo: – But, but, mayor, I can prove it this time.

Mayor: – Who do you think you’re fooling?

Villagers choir: – Yeah, right, sure!

Mayor: – I guess the sky is falling.

Villagers choir: – Hey we heard it all before.

Pig: – You poured the bowl right over our eyes too many times with all of your lies.

Mayor: – So, who do you think you’re fooling?

Villagers choir: – Yeah, right, sure!

Top hat man: – It was the flood.

Blacksmith: – And then the earthquake.

Dog: – The monster fur balls.

Woman: – The giant snails.

Rabbit: – The attack of the trees.

Pig: – And then the quicksand.

Dog: – The million tics and.

Top hat man: – The killer whales.

Blacksmith: – The talking shoes.

Woman: – The walking bushes.

Mayor: – You had us rounding from a hundred full cows. So tell us how when you inflict                       us… Do you expect us to listen now? (we) Weren’t born yesterday, you know?

Villagers Choir: – Who do you think you’re fooling?

Villagers choir: – Yeah, right, sure!

Mayor: – I guess the sky is falling.

Villagers choir: – Hey, we’ve heard it all before.

Mayor: – You poured the bowl right over our eyes too many times with all of your lies.

Everyone: – So, who do you think you’re fooling?

Villagers choir: – Yeah, right, sure! There was the time when we believed you, now we have                       you in disagree, you’re making it up, but now is matter, go away now, let us be.

Villagers Choir: – Who do you think you’re fooling?

Villagers choir: – Yeah, right, sure!

Woman: – I guess the sky is falling.

Rabbit: – Hey, we’ve heard it all before.

Everyone: – You poured the bowl right over our eyes too many times with all of your lies.

Mayor: – So, who do you think you’re fooling?

Gonzo: – I’m not trying to kid anyone.

Mayor: – Who do you think you’re fooling?

Gonzo: – But if you… just listen to me…

Mayor: – Who do you think you’re fooling anyhow?

Gonzo: – I am just trying to tell you that there is a wolf out there.

Everyone: – Yeah, right, sure!

Gonzo and pack: – Aaah!

Gonzo: – Well, I tried everything, but I guess the mayor was right when he said that my                      over-reacting would get me into trouble. I’m sorry my little wooly friends, I tried                    to save you, but I’m a sham of a shepherd, not even fit to carry this crook.

Sheep pack: – Ooh!

Gonzo: – Good bye.

Sheep one: – Well, it sounds to me like the shepherd has learned his lesson, this is                                      probably a very good place to end the story.

Sheep two: – ‘Cause if we go any far too there’s violence.

Sheep three: – End the story.

Sheep four: – To end it he told.

Sheep one: – And they all lived happily ever after.

Rizzo: – But despite the protest of the sheep the story was not over.

Sheep pack: – Oooooh!

Rizzo: – In one hour the wolf would return just in time for lunch.

Sheep one: – Say, I’ve got an idea.

Gonzo: – You guys remember my cousin Norman?

Sheep pack: – Yeah (the sheep get very close and start talking to between them).

Gonzo: – Fantastic!

Wolf: – Looks like noone believed your cries for help.

Gonzo: – Ah, it’s true, all those false alarms reduced my credibility to accept.

Wolf: – Well then, sounds like the time for me, the wolf, to have some lunch. Ahahaha, a predator humour.

Gonzo: – Excuse me mister wolf but a big sheep.

Wolf: – What?

Gonzo: – Big sheep.

Wolf: – Ha, come on now shepherd, don’t think I’m gonna fall for that silly tactic.

Gonzo: – But it’s a really big sheep!

Wolf: – But that don’t make any sense. What you mean, really… BIG SHEEP!

Gonzo: – Nice goal Norman!

Wolf: – Oh! That’s what you mean by really big sheep!

Gonzo: – Norman, Norman, Norman, Norman…

Rizzo: – And so the shepherd who had some help from the sheep and the really big cousin                   Norman saved the day, the mayor gave the shepherd a medal…

Mayor: – For not crying wolf except when an actual wolf was present.

Everyone: – Yeah!

Rizzo: – The town’s people and sheep rejoiced and everybody lived happily ever after…                       Well almost everybody…

Wolf: – You can get off now?

Norman: – No. Aaahahahhahaha.

Rizzo: – Well they’ll trust you ain’t they, at last?

Gonzo: – Oh, absolutely, I will never over-react again.

Rizzo: – Good! Now, before we go to our next story we will take a free intermission.

Gonzo: – Intermission, intermission? Oh, wait, wait did you know wind intermission? This                 is terrible wind over… if we find intermission, what (are) we gonna do? Help!                        HEEELP!

Acerca de María Cristina Alonso Cuervo

I am a teacher of English who started to write this blog in May 2014. In the column on the right I included some useful links and widgets Italian is another section of my blog which I called 'Cornice Italiana'. There are various tags and categories you can pick from. I also paint, compose, and play music, I always liked science, nature, arts, language... and other subjects which you can come across while reading my posts. Best regards.
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